No such thing as a free lunch – just ask football clubs

‘The best things in life are free’ or so sung John Lennon on the Beatles’ 1963 cover of Barrett Strong’s ‘Money (That’s What I Want)’. However, as he clarified in the next couple of lyrics: ‘But you can give them to the birds and bees, I want money’. As the great man indicated, not every gift should be taken with glee.
West Ham are finding that at the moment with goalkeeper Roberto Jimenez’s form. The Spaniard is deputising for the injured Lukasz Fabianski and has conceded 16 goals in his eight appearances. That includes a clean sheet against League Two Newport County before letting in four without moving in the 4-0 defeat at League One Oxford.
A promising Premier League debut off the bench in the 2-2 draw at Bournemouth raised the Hammers’ hopes but now the fans are desperate to see Fabianski back between the posts, especially after two errors in Saturday’s 3-0 defeat at Burnley.
Roberto had been tracked by boss Manuel Pellegrini and sporting director Mario Husillos for over a year but it seems the club have got what they ‘paid’ for, with the 33-year-old joining on a free transfer.
Of course, wages, agent fees and signing-on bonuses mean nothing is free. But still, getting players through the door without significant outlay is always tempting. However, with speculation already doing the rounds that Roberto will leave in January, let’s have a look at free transfers that didn’t work out.
Michael Owen to Stoke
One of the most talented players of his generation, the 2001 Ballon d’Or winner no less, Michael Owen’s career kind of ground to a halt following a string of hamstring and knee issues.
After signing for Manchester United in 2009 for nothing, an underwhelming spell at Old Trafford was followed by a similar effort at Stoke.
By the time he joined the Potters in September 2012, the then 33-year-old seemed to be fighting a losing battle, having lost his pace and playing in a team known more for its graft than grace. A frustrated Owen retired at the end of the 2012-13 campaign after scoring just once in eight outings.
Joe Cole to Liverpool
A man compared by Steven Gerrard to Lionel Messi when he moved to Liverpool in 2010, Joe Cole’s arrival at Anfield seemed a real coup as Roy Hodgson looked to remodel the side.
However, following a red card on his debut against Arsenal, Cole only started a further nine Premier League games.
After being a star for West Ham, Chelsea and England, the English Messi couldn’t repeat his exploits on Merseyside and was sent out on loan to Lille in 2011, playing a mentoring role to the likes of Eden Hazard and Dimitri Payet.
Emmanuel Eboue to Sunderland
After being a decent player for Arsenal, Emmanuel Eboue headed to Turkish outfit in Galatasaray and then returned to England with Sunderland on March 9, 2016.
In a surprise move, with him being out of the game since the previous summer, Sam Allardyce clearly saw something no one else on the planet did.
Eboue may well have been a world-beater in a struggling side but we’ll never know as he failed to make a single appearance.
Just 22 days after being signed, the Ivorian was handed a one-year ban for failing to pay an agent and his Sunderland sojourn ended somewhat abruptly.
Winston Bogarde to Chelsea
Finally, the king of kings in this category. Some fans may perceive Winston Bogarde as a trailblazer, the Dutchman being one of the first players to almost down tools and never be seen again.
A Champions League winner in 1995 with Ajax, a decent spell at Barcelona suggested his arrival at Chelsea on a free transfer was somewhat of a masterstroke.
Bogarde may not have had the same idea, playing just nine Premier League matches and earning £40,000 per week.
Rather than leave, he was happy to see out his four-year deal at Stamford Bridge and retire, in the process becoming the go-to man when discussing disastrous freebies.